Is Love the Last Thing on Your List?

I was talking to a colleague who has been in the counseling field for over 25 years. She commented, “The biggest change I’ve seen in families is the phenomenon of couples who hardly see each other. Twenty years ago that didn’t happen.”

It’s amazing, isn’t it? Living in America, we have more wealth, education, and freedom than anyone else on the planet. And along with that, more ability to choose our lifestyle than anyone else. And we choose to put our relationships the last thing on our list.

Not when we’re single, of course. Then relationships are at the top of the list. We’re out there every weekend, trying to find that perfect person. But once we do, other priorities take over—kids, work, school, hobbies, remodeling, social events.

The next time you reach for your calendar to commit another hour of your precious, irretrievable time, consider this:

According to Gallup, the #1 goal for most Americans is a happy marriage. That means that if you are married, there are millions of people who wish they were in your shoes.

If you are a turbo-charged super-couple, your partner’s colleagues may know more about your partner’s current joys, pains, and dreams than you do.

Relaxation is sexy. Maniacal multi-tasking is not. You can’t race at 70 miles per hour and then suddenly turn on a dime and feel amorous. The Pointer Sisters didn’t name their song “Slow Hand” for nothing.

Copyright ©2004 Claire Hatch, LICSW

www.clairehatch.com