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The High Price of Keeping Quiet

Posted on August 3, 2009 Filed Under Communication | Leave a Comment

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Karen and Jim came to me for marriage counseling because Karen had mentioned the word “divorce.”

“I don’t understand how we got to this point,” said Jim. “We were always the golden couple. Everyone envied our relationship. Our friends came to us with their …

Life Balance May Be Closer Than You Think

Posted on August 3, 2009 Filed Under Taming Stress | Leave a Comment

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Not all vacations deliver the decompression they promise. But last month’s stay at Priest Lake, Idaho did. After a couple of days, I found myself in a truly remarkable state of relaxation. The resort was remote and rustic. You had to look …

Time for a Dream Update?

Posted on August 3, 2009 Filed Under Communication | Leave a Comment

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“My wife and I need to learn to communicate,” said Tom. That’s what most people say when they call to schedule a marriage counseling appointment. And usually they’re right.
Three weeks later, I told Tom and Karla: “Communication is a problem, but it’s …

Why Are You Still at Work?

Posted on August 2, 2009 Filed Under Taming Stress | Leave a Comment

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“Now that’s a silly question,” you’re probably thinking. “I’ve got a report due Friday, 200 emails in my inbox, and a manager breathing down my neck-that’s why I’m still at work.”
You may be right. Sometimes you have no choice. You’re new, you’ve …

The Laser Lifestyle

Posted on August 2, 2009 Filed Under Taming Stress | Leave a Comment

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I feel very lucky to live in a country where work can be more than just a way to survive. Where it can nourish the mind, build self-esteem, and provide what novelist Henry James described as “the most agreeable emotion of the …

Got a Minute? Improve Your Relationship.

Posted on August 2, 2009 Filed Under Communication | Leave a Comment

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Janet and Nate were on the verge of divorce when they first came to see me. Four months later, they were feeling closer to each other than they ever had before. What turned their marriage around? According to Janet and Nate, the most …

Unpack Your Emotional Baggage

Posted on August 2, 2009 Filed Under Communication | 2 Comments

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Last week at a party, a woman I was chatting with said that she thought people give up on marriage too easily. Even if the marriage can’t be saved, people need to dig deeper to understand their problems, she said. Otherwise, we …

Life Balance — What’s Your Inner Critic Got to Do with It?

Posted on August 2, 2009 Filed Under Taming Stress | Leave a Comment

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Do you dream of relaxing weekends? With plenty of time to enjoy your family? And free time that’s really free?

Sure, you say, but it’s not going to happen anytime soon, unless I win the lottery, move to France, or my …

Are You Listening?

Posted on August 2, 2009 Filed Under Communication | Leave a Comment

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You’ve probably heard it said that listening is the most difficult of all communication skills. There must be something to this, because not being listened to is the number one relationship problem people complain about.
I think one reason listening can be tough is …

Valentine’s Day Is Not a Test

Posted on August 2, 2009 Filed Under Communication | Leave a Comment

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“I thought my first Valentine’s Day with Brad would be so special,” sighed Shelley to her best friend Kate. “But instead, it’s like he already just takes me for granted. I’m a newlywed and I already have marriage problems!”

“What happened? Did he forget?” …

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