Save Your Marriage: Get Rid of Your Resentment

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If you’re a woman who’s struggling with feelings of resentment toward your husband, you probably ask yourself this question a lot: “How can I make him understand how much he’s hurt me?”

Maybe you don’t know how to start the conversation.

Or you’ve tried to say how you feel and things have gone south. Maybe that’s happened way too many times already. Now you just keep quiet and the resentment builds up.

I know it’s hard, but you’ve got to find a new way to speak up! Stockpiling resentments is the worst thing you can do for your marriage.

Do you know I’m actually glad when a couple walks into my counseling office, jabbing and sniping at each other?

That tells me there’s still feeling there! They care about each other. They’ve still got a connection, even if it’s turned into an unhealthy connection. I know if I teach them how to show that caring and they’ll be O.K.

What worries me much more is when there’s a lifeless feeling in the room. When they talk to me instead of to each other. When they say things like:

“We’re like roommates.”

“After the kids go to bed, he watches T.V. and I go up and read a book.”

“We don’t have anything to talk about except the kids.”

That tells me they have a lot of hurt built up, but they’re not talking about it.

It also tells me they’re at a higher risk of divorce than the couples who bicker.

Yes, it’s true. Not talking about what you’re upset about is the most destructive thing you can do for your marriage.

That’s why I wrote Save Your Marriage: Get Rid of Your Resentment.
Using the six-stage Cycle of Resentment model, I help you get a clearer picture of what’s really upsetting you. Then I show you exactly how to approach your husband and have a conversation that leads to understanding for both of you.

Save Your Marriage: Get Rid of Your Resentment is not a complicated book with lots of information about many aspects of marriage. It’s short, practical and to the point.

Think of it as “a surgical strike” on your resentment.

It’s designed for you to pick it up right when you need it and get some tools to help you feel better fast. And start a conversation with your husband that really gets somewhere.

Are you wondering why I’ve written this book for women?

You might not want to hear it, but women usually have more trouble letting go of resentments than men do. You probably know that your husband can be mad, but if you show him some affection or do something fun together, he quickly forgets all about whatever it was. You might have even wished you could move on so easily!

Well, you’re never going to be exactly like that. It’s not because you like to be negative or hold a grudge. It’s because of the way your brain is wired.

In the book, I explain why we women operate more out of our feelings and why we store our emotional experiences longer than men.

Some hurts, sure, you can brush aside. Husbands and wives are always going to step on each other’s toes. But some feelings you’re just not going to get over until you talk about them. If you don’t talk, you’re setting yourself up for trouble.

Save Your Marriage: Get Rid of Your Resentmentcomes with a downloadable workbook so you can work through the exercises in writing. It’s not enough just to read. Reflecting on each part of your experience in a step-by-step way is crucial. Even if you feel like you understand what’s going on perfectly, I bet there will be something you get a new perspective on after you’ve done the exercises.

That will make talking to your husband much easier. Then you can break the ice and get a conversation going that leads to understanding. And step out of the Cycle of Resentment and get back the closeness you’ve been missing out on.