All posts in Pre-Marital Advice

Soft and Slow

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A recent Wall Street Journal article described the growing trend of CEO’s going to therapy. It makes a lot of sense when you think about it. They’re under great pressure, they’re supposed to have all the answers, and their ability to communicate with others is crucial. But to make therapy work for them they have to adjust their pace. They have to realize that psychological changes don’t happen at the speed of business.

A lot of my clients have to learn the same lesson.

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Do Your Marriage a Favor – Rock the Boat!

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Sally knew that she and Mark had different tastes on their first date. But she kept her knowledge to herself. She wasn’t going to create problems in her new relationship.

When Mark said he liked to go camping, Sally didn’t express her first thought, which was: “The closest I get to camping is a walk in Central Park.” Instead, she said, “We used to go camping a lot when we were kids.” When he said he liked country music, she didn’t say, “You’ve got to be kidding!” Instead, she said, “My boss is crazy about Garth Brooks.”

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Envisioning Your Future

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In my counseling practice, I work with couples in all stages of life. I see engaged couples and married couples who are struggling with their relationships. Very often these men and women want very different things out of life. I see men who are driven to create brilliant careers married to women who just want them home with the family. I see women bent on building their dream houses married to men who want to take it easy on the weekends. I see social butterflies married to homebodies. They are disappointed that their dreams are not coming true, and they have fallen into the habit of criticizing the dreams of their spouses.

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