Everyone knows that marriage today is in crisis. Right? Wrong!

Marriage isn’t in crisis—it’s carving out new territory. For the first time in history, we marry primarily for the emotional connection, not the practical benefits. We’ve raised our expectations and now it’s time to raise our skills to make our desires come true.

Marriages have always suffered from vicious cycles of destructive communication. Partners either blew up at each other, or kept quiet to avoid the blow ups. Gradually, the vicious cycles chipped away at safety, love, and trust. People used to have to live with this, adjusting their hopes downward over the years. There wasn’t much help for couples, and certainly not marriage counseling.

Now we do have the tools to get couples out of those painful cycles and build a solid bond.

Rock Solid is a marriage counseling program that builds your skills in 4 areas:

Understand Your Emotional Desires
In the traditional marriage, men and women knew what they were signing up for and personal desires didn’t have much to do with it. Not anymore. Today, you have to invent your own marriage. You might find your “marriage blueprint” is at odds with your partner’s. And you both have your own own particular hot buttons and emotional needs that create painful misunderstandings.

Your emotional desires developed early in life and are partly unconscious, like the air you breathe. That’s why you both get confused about what makes you each of you feel loved. Until you feel unloved-then kaboom! This program helps you understand each other’s emotional desires. Then you can let go of the blame and accusations, and work together to make your marriage emotionally fulfilling for both of you.

Master Communication Tools
Everyone has received some information about communication these days. But it’s hard to reach for the right tool at the right moment, especially when you feel defensive. In Rock Solid, you get a streamlined set of tools that are manageable and easy to remember. And you get coaching on the one or two changes each of you need to focus on most to nip your vicious cycles in the bud. Then you can create new patterns that make you feel safe and understood, even when you disagree.

Manage High-Stress Moments
Every vicious cycle starts with an emotional reaction. At those critical moments, you really believe your partner is insensitive or selfish, or doesn’t care about you. Then when you calm down, things don’t look so bad and you can see he was just feeling hurt or defensive.

It’s great to make up afterward, but even better to understand what’s going on before you say something hurtful. Your emotional desires, communication cycles, as well as your nervous system’s reaction to stress all combine to produce your unique reaction. When you see how all the pieces fit together, you can take the puzzle apart and keep it apart.

Building Connection
Too many marriages wind up being just about solving problems and running a household. But that’s not why people get married. They’re looking for that solid friend/lover bond. This means having fun and relating as a man and a woman, not just mom and dad. It means giving attention to your sexual relationship. It means encouraging each other to grow and develop. When you’re locked in your vicious cycles, you don’t have any interest in this part of your relationship. We turn the vicious cycles around first, and then strengthen your connection.

Experience real results in 12 weeks.

This intensive marriage counseling program includes:

-A 30-minute initial assessment appointment-There are many fine marriage counselors in Seattle. You want to make sure I’m the right counselor for you.

-Carefully designed sessions that build on prior skills and insights.

-Sessions that last 1 hour and 15 minutes-Accomplish more than a traditional 50-minute marriage counseling session allows.

-Homework assignments to accompany each session-You work as hard at home as you do in our sessions.

-A 40-page workbook-Take home reading to reinforce session discussions. You’ll have all the information at your fingertips long after you complete the program.

-Your personalized Rock Solid Marriage Reference Sheet-A summary of the key tools you need to keep top-of-mind every day.

-Unlimited phone and email access to me-Get expert advice in real time when you run into problems.

-Phone and email access for 60 days after completion.

-Investment in your marriage: $665 per month for the complete Rock Solid Marriage Program.

Rock Solid is a personal, comprehensive program to get your marriage back on track.

Why a structured program?
Improving your relationship takes skills. A counselor can help you have a positive interaction in her office. However, to be able to re-create that experience regularly you need skills you can take home.

I know from my training experience you learn more effectively when skills build on each other and you have a map showing you where you’re headed. A variety of learning methods helps, too-reading, listening, discussing, practicing, and receiving coaching. And a lot of learning is simply remembering. Structure gives you more “memory hooks,” and increases your chances of using what you’ve learned.

Does this sound intensive? It is. If your marriage is not your top priority right now, this program is not for you. If it is, I will use every tool and resource I have to turn your marriage around.

When you’re ready to for your free 30-minute assessment, email me or call me at 425 822-5202.