Years ago I read about a great way to figure out what your values really are. It's to ask yourself: "What would I tell my kids?" That'll clear up any confusion you have about what you think really fast. It can also show how you may be falling short of your own standards. Similarly, a good yardstick for how well you're treating your spouse is to ask yourself: "Would I do that if we were dating?" Sad, but true, our perspective on what is 'normal' behavior can change quite a bit after we say, "I do." Let's start with the small stuff. What do you do when you come home in the evening?